Cai's his name Love's his game

I have been really trying to understand what GOD wants from us all and today I say it's just not for me to understand. I understand that I am human but I would like to know my purpose, why am I here.

I know a boy who probably asks this question every time some one speaks to him because he can not communicate back. I know a boy who smiles, laughs and cries because he can and that is the  only form of expression he knows.

I know a boy he's just a little black boy, with a heart and feelings. I know this little boy because he is my boy. Nine years ago you couldn't tell me my child was not happy, loved and wanted. You can't tell me that today because I know what he is ... he is JahCai. Born to me on March 31st, 2001 at 10:15 a.m. (funny how every mother remembers that time) he is perfect, my guardian angel, my love my first born, my favorite kid in the world.

GOD gave me the gift of raising some one with a disability, I never recognized it as a gift until i started to embrace it instead of running. I think I ran not from my son but from the fear of failure, that he wouldn't be like everybody else, he wouldn't grow to his potential. It clicked one day, if he was like everyone else we wouldn't like him, he wouldn't be unique and stand out. WE the adults had to recognize that we were embracing fear.

I write to ease a lot of pain and guilt I have inside. Pain because so much has happened in such a short time, I'm not sure at times if it's at all necessary. I felt guilty until some one told me, it, his illness, wasn't my fault. This person told me that being born was a privilege to a woman and that I got the best gift a child who knows only how to LOVE unconditionally. He hasn't been taught hate, he hasn't been taught to deal with his world, the world has to learn to LOVE and learn to deal with him in their world.

He's coming but the question remains are we ready?