So ... this is just a blog site.
And you are just readers, my audience of peers. So now I ask myself, is this what I am supposed to do. Yes, I am supposed to do. Why? because NO ONE ELSE HAS THE BALLS.
Ok with that off my chest ... May I begin at the beginning? In my experience the mother, woman of the family is often the rock, the stone, the tone that keep everyone grounded and level. SO why lately am I seeing a growing trend of women (black, these are the ones that I know) giving up their children? Not at birth, Not even in the early stages, at about 10 years old (the average) I see that more black mothers are not "fit" for the position of mother.
So when did this occur? When it was when you first find out that you were pregnant? No ....
Was it when he told you he was leaving for some one or some thing else? No ...
Maybe it was when you realized that you could do better without the child? No ...
This happened a long time before you even thought of having children. This occurred when your mother, like her mother followed a growing cycle that affects the black community here in the United States. This occurred when you decided that you didn't want to continue to be responsible, you wanted to settle for what was thrown at you. This occurred when you gave up.
YEAH I said it, now prove me wrong. Black females that I know and don't know have been giving up their children to their natural fathers and saying "you deal with it" instead of "I need help" we are taking all responsibility and putting it back on the man who helped conceive lil miss or lil sir, right? But is it right?
Being in this situation makes you take a step back and see it for what it's really worth. Most women would give up their kids for two weeks max without any problem, but they all will fight to get them back every moment. I have been presented with some very ugly, spiteful black women who actually would rather fight with the father, go to court and argue than to just ask for help. And the ones with All hands on deck with help are the ones throwing the kids far far away.
I met another baby this weekend, he's 8 and he is like Lijah and Avah, displaced from his mother, because she had "to get it together". Ladies what are you teaching you children? That you can just throw kids away when need be? Or that you are and were too selfish to see that the person trying to help you is the person you are trying to hurt. Last I checked, you made a child with some one, you raise them regardless of how you feel bout the other half the chromosomes.
For all comments - please note I am on BOTH sides of the spectrum and it's not pretty either way.
Now what makes me different, why do I feel I can say something? #1 I had my son at 19 years of age, had no idea what a developmental delay was until he reached 15 months old and to date I struggle with blaming myself for his "misfortunes" but wait there's more. Early on, his father was there until he decided that being a coward was better than being a father. Since, though, I have tried to include him and he wants nothing to do with him.
Then I look at my better half who is on the receiving end of an un greased pole. We lived within proximity to them and we could call anytime and he couldn't see or talk to them when SHE felt like it. Then we decided to move and now it's too far away SHE can't handle them, but yet they are here and you don't call daily to tell them it's not their fault. Instead you act like you're the victim and hey maybe you were but there are kids involved, you will never be a victim unless the crime is commited against you, they're victims of selfishness.
Who knows maybe I'm speaking out of anger and then again, this is all from my heart, what I see those kids go through. ALL of them not just the displaced, but the ones that love us all no matter what. The ones that have a mom who needed a break but never got one and yet she still is standing tall with or without you. She was pregnant with child #4 and had all 3 yes even the Austist, at home with no problems and any minor problem the response was always, "I can't handle this". But Thanks! No hard feelings, just let me know when that pity party ends ladies and where the thought and want for a healthy mind and soul for your children begins. Mine began when they were first discovered. When will you discover it's not about you and it will never be again? It's about those babies who want and need a real mother some one to lay a real foundation.
But I guess when you are just a pebble and not a true stone. They end up "kicking rocks" instead of collecting them.... any comments, questions solutions, I'm all ears.
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